Dear Scarlet, You know that feeling when you take a nap but then someone or something wakes you up and you have this intense amount of anxiety because you don’t know what's going on? You don’t know what time it is or even what day it is and you feel like you might have slept through something important. This is what my 20's feel like. It's like I'm around kids who wear suits and ties, yet we still wear crop tops and vans. I feel like me and my friends are still kids but some how us kids are working full time jobs, getting married, and some are even having, well, kids. We went from high school kids to…adults. It is weird to look at old pictures on Facebook and feel an immense amount of joy but also grief. I know that as we grow older, we go through seasons where we are closer to some than others. However, sometimes that distance becomes so vast, one day you realize you don’t really know those people at all. People that you spent numerous sleepovers with or maybe even stole late night kisses from. They are now just strangers. I used to think that the distance was a result of people not trying as hard. But now I realize it is the first time we actually have to try and we can't choose everyone. We have to let some people go and letting go sucks. Think about it…when you are in High School you see people everyday. You would see the people you wanted to see and also the people you didn't. In college it changed a bit. You had classes with friends but it wasn't every day. Then after college, the people you saw everyday changed once again. We went from spending ten plus hours a day with our friends to maybe one day for an hour (your spouse doesn’t count). Unless you and your friends picked the exact same career and place of employment, you had to make a genuine effort to see them. So where do we go from here? We must examine ourselves first and then examine the relationships we have. We need to ask ourselves if the lifestyle we are choosing produces the outcome we want. Is your lifestyle allowing you to make room for your relationships, your marriage, and your family? Or does it leave you feeling burnt out? The big question remains, is your life style worth the impact it is making? Next up, the examination of your relationships. Are the people you surround yourself with also the people you do honest life with? Or do they run away from the hard stuff such as hard conversations about disappointments or personal screw-ups. The big question here is who truly knows you or who would still root for you when you get honest? Life only throws more curve balls from here. Who will be on your team not only when you have a win but also when you face a loss? Pick your team wisely. Best, The older you
